Yesterday I lost a friend.
A small lop eared friend called Steve.
My 5 yr old Mini lop house bun Steve had a bad turn. On Tuesday evening I noticed she was behaving a bit dopey but assumed it was because she had just woken up. When I came to her in the morning she was on her side unconscious. She was floppy and her eyes wouldn’t open. As soon as we arrived the vet’s took her from us and put her on a drip and oxygen. The prognosis was very bleak and he advised that if we were to ask him to put her to sleep he would do it. However, seeing how distraught me and my other half were, he said that she could remain on the drip for a few hours to see if there was improvement. Mercifully, Steve regained consciousness but she could barely lift her head and walking/sitting up was out of the question. The vet allowed us to take her home as he believed she would be more comfortable. He told us quite frankly that he thought it was Kidney failure and that she probably didn’t have long. Wednesday night we kept her in a makeshift bed wrapped up in towels and blankets with heated pads (the vet’s advice). She laided on my chest, where she was relaxed, but so abnormally quiet. She stayed in my room where I stayed awake to listen to listen for signs of distress. I hoped that with enough care we would very slowly but surely help her to get better. But Steve’s condition didn’t improve, and on Saturday morning and she started to refuse water. She then began to chatter her teeth which was very alarming as it signalled pain or discomfort. She was still unable to move and we noticed a patch on her ear that looked sore. We decided to take her to the vet’s for a frank discussion. The vet we saw wasn’t the one that had treated her on Wednesday but had assisted. In her opinion Steve was looking worse. She told us that we could try her again with a drip and a treatment for a parasite but the patch on her ear would require antibiotics which would have adverse affects on their own. She said in her opinion Steve was not happy or in a good place. We didn’t want her to suffer, I would have kept trying forever but the thought of her being in pain was unbearable. So we made a heartbreaking decision to let her go. I must admit it was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. She was such an affectionate rabbit.
It’s been a day and I can’t face the thought of getting rid of her stuff. Her fur is still on my jeans and her food in my cupboards. The thought of never gently rubbing those lopped ears again brings me to tears. I think Steve’s passing has been even more poignant by the fact I recently lost a relative. It’s difficult to comprehend, loosing two such lovely characters from my life. I hope the next couple of days brings me some solace. I want to donate some of reusable items to the local animal rescue centre and send a card to the vet’s who took care of Steve. In the meantime, I keep myself busy; doing jobs that don’t need to be done right now. Directing my anger at people who act carelessly in the street. I find myself eating less; no appetite and just complete disinterest. Make up has taken a back seat and anyone who asks how we are doing gets a frank and probably tearful answer.
A bit lost.